There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
