VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
