I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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