I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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