She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
