so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
did i walk over a car last night?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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