did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
