i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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