Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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