He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
