then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
