Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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