My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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