i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
