ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
is it fun? or sober?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
