I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
