could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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