Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
