It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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