definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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