i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
