I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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