i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
