If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I stole a fireplace last night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
