yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
