Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
