it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
