Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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