covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
we should paint friendship bongs
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