doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
