He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
