Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
