Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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