They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
whose parrot is this?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
