so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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