the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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