hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
