It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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