I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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