Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we're so committed to being not committed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
