i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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