Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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