erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
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