Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I deserve this hangover.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
