I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
