We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
