can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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