I bet he comes in French.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i drank out of a bidet.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
