the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
