Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So many bounce houses so little time
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
