Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
